I wrote this awhile back (in late September) but I never published it. I went back and reread it today and thought it was about time to put it out there. Although I do hate that this is a problem for me, I have found that it is a very common, but often silent struggle that many people (particularly busy moms) deal with. So, I figured I should share my story here.
So adoption is wonderful and amazing and if you feel the call in your heart to do it, I say run to someone who can help you make it happen as fast as you can. It is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life second to accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior and marrying my husband.
However... some things about the process do kinda stink sometimes. Since I strive to be as honest as possible on here, I'll just tell you all about something that happened that just really irritated me.
Here's what happened, I received a copy of our home-study in my email and I was super pumped because it was basically done! One of the great things about adopting twice is that our caseworker just has to update our old home study instead of writing a completely new one. So, everything was updated and sent over to me for review because the only thing remaining was our updated medical forms. The report looked good to me and I was excited that it was just one tiny step from being completed. I didn't think for a second that the medical forms would be an issue.
However, I got an email a couple of days later with some bad news. The email was from our caseworker, saying that my medical clearance form arrived and the results were not the same as last time, so I needed to go back to the doctors office and have my doctor fill out yet another form. More specifically, a mental health form required by the state of Michigan.
Now before you go thinking anything too intense, the reason my medicals were flagged is because I have been more recently diagnosed with what's known as "G.A.D." or, "Generalized Anxiety Disorder". I now know that I have struggled with this problem for many years, but just recently mustered up enough courage to finally go talk to my doctor about it.
How it all started is that I would get anxiety and fear about not being able to fall asleep at night. This fear would cause rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing and an inability to calm myself down (panic attack), and many times the attacks got so bad that it kept me up all night long. I would have these awful racing thoughts and fears about how I would not be able to function the next day without any sleep. These nights were absolutely awful.
So eventually, after years of this happening periodically, (my breaking point was when I went nearly 72 hours with absolutely no sleep) I finally went to my doctor and told her about it. Then, after a difficult month of consults and different approaches, we found a solution that works and I no longer have anxiety attacks. However, the downside is that I do now require a prescription for anxiety medication. Much like most anyone that has any type of anxiety-related issue, I certainly don't love that this is a problem for me, but I'm happy I have found something that works to elleviate it. I also have a lot of hope that someday, I will master the process of naturally controlling the initial onset of the anxiety so that I do not require any medication to control it. Obviously I am not there yet, but I am so hoping that someday I will get to that place. (Update: I have now been able to cut my medication dosage in half and hope to be off of it completely within the next 6-12 months)
I tell you all of this because due to this more recent diagnosis on my medical file, I had to go BACK to the doctor so she could fill out a form to prove to the state of Michigan that I am not crazy, then get it back to the agency to be added to our homestudy update so that everyone knows I am still fit to be a parent. Obviously my doctor has filled everything out without a concern, but it's just a lot more time spent on additional paperwork that caused about a week delay in completing our homestudy.
So, I guess sometimes I just get frustrated that I have to prove to the world that we can do this again. If I was pregnant and delivered a child tomorrow, this paperwork wouldn't be something I would need to complete to take my baby home with me. Believe me I know we signed ourselves up for this stuff, but it still doesn't make it any less frustrating.
Until next time....
If you have anxiety, I encourage you to talk to your doctor about it! Don't make it a silent struggle like I did for so many years.
So adoption is wonderful and amazing and if you feel the call in your heart to do it, I say run to someone who can help you make it happen as fast as you can. It is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life second to accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior and marrying my husband.
However... some things about the process do kinda stink sometimes. Since I strive to be as honest as possible on here, I'll just tell you all about something that happened that just really irritated me.
Here's what happened, I received a copy of our home-study in my email and I was super pumped because it was basically done! One of the great things about adopting twice is that our caseworker just has to update our old home study instead of writing a completely new one. So, everything was updated and sent over to me for review because the only thing remaining was our updated medical forms. The report looked good to me and I was excited that it was just one tiny step from being completed. I didn't think for a second that the medical forms would be an issue.
However, I got an email a couple of days later with some bad news. The email was from our caseworker, saying that my medical clearance form arrived and the results were not the same as last time, so I needed to go back to the doctors office and have my doctor fill out yet another form. More specifically, a mental health form required by the state of Michigan.
Now before you go thinking anything too intense, the reason my medicals were flagged is because I have been more recently diagnosed with what's known as "G.A.D." or, "Generalized Anxiety Disorder". I now know that I have struggled with this problem for many years, but just recently mustered up enough courage to finally go talk to my doctor about it.
How it all started is that I would get anxiety and fear about not being able to fall asleep at night. This fear would cause rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing and an inability to calm myself down (panic attack), and many times the attacks got so bad that it kept me up all night long. I would have these awful racing thoughts and fears about how I would not be able to function the next day without any sleep. These nights were absolutely awful.
So eventually, after years of this happening periodically, (my breaking point was when I went nearly 72 hours with absolutely no sleep) I finally went to my doctor and told her about it. Then, after a difficult month of consults and different approaches, we found a solution that works and I no longer have anxiety attacks. However, the downside is that I do now require a prescription for anxiety medication. Much like most anyone that has any type of anxiety-related issue, I certainly don't love that this is a problem for me, but I'm happy I have found something that works to elleviate it. I also have a lot of hope that someday, I will master the process of naturally controlling the initial onset of the anxiety so that I do not require any medication to control it. Obviously I am not there yet, but I am so hoping that someday I will get to that place. (Update: I have now been able to cut my medication dosage in half and hope to be off of it completely within the next 6-12 months)
I tell you all of this because due to this more recent diagnosis on my medical file, I had to go BACK to the doctor so she could fill out a form to prove to the state of Michigan that I am not crazy, then get it back to the agency to be added to our homestudy update so that everyone knows I am still fit to be a parent. Obviously my doctor has filled everything out without a concern, but it's just a lot more time spent on additional paperwork that caused about a week delay in completing our homestudy.
So, I guess sometimes I just get frustrated that I have to prove to the world that we can do this again. If I was pregnant and delivered a child tomorrow, this paperwork wouldn't be something I would need to complete to take my baby home with me. Believe me I know we signed ourselves up for this stuff, but it still doesn't make it any less frustrating.
Until next time....
If you have anxiety, I encourage you to talk to your doctor about it! Don't make it a silent struggle like I did for so many years.
