Obviously since we are entering our second adoption, people are beginning to ask me if the possibility of us ever having a biological child is now gone for our family. Now to be honest, I don't really know how to answer that question because life can change so quickly and I find it pretty hard to predict the future, but I guess "maybe" is the best answer I can give right now.
Today I was inspired by a another blogger (whom I've never met, but was happy to read her personal thoughts on pregnancy) to share my very blunt thoughts on this. So, I'll just come right out and say it: I just have no real desire or need to be pregnant, nor do I care if our children ever share our genetic makeup. The bottom line for me is that I've always known I wanted to be a mom, and I am, to the most perfect little boy I could have ever asked for. What a blessed life I am able to live - without any morning sickness, swollen boobs and exhaustion! (Instead, we get paperwork, stress and fear of the adoption "unknowns". I personally, can handle these a lot better!)
Now believe me, I know some couples really want a biological child and the pregnancy experience and I have NOTHING but respect for that, as I know many of you respect our decision to grow our family through adoption. I see it just as simply different paths in building a family. One just happens to be more popular and accepted in this world than the choice we have made.
So if it ends up that having two children proves to be enough for us, I will be perfectly okay with not experiencing the journey of pregnancy and being done having children after this adoption. It almost seems like that plan makes the most sense at this point, but I know God's plan is always the better one, so I'm never to quick to make things like this "final". Because if a biological child becomes a desire or a surprise for us at some point, we will take that with joy and excitement of course.
In saying this, I want you to all know that these personal feelings do not mean my heart doesn't break for those who can't conceive, or that I don't get crazy excited for someone else when they are pregnant. I realize I simply have been given a desire for adoption that is not what everyone else shares. I have often said that if I could give my (presumed) fertility away to someone who needs it, I would do it in a second, because if someone told me I couldn't adopt Eli or start the adoption we are in right now, my heart would be shattered. I am so sorry that infertility is such a struggle in this world, it seems so unfair and unjust that families who want children cannot have them and many people who do not want children are so easily able to conceive. My heart just breaks in these situations.
So, for those of you who are curious, I hope this post gives you some clarity on what our thoughts are about biological children. Not that I really answered the question, but hopefully provided some insight. :-)
Until next time...
