I know some of you are wondering if I am going to respond to all of this that has been happening in the last couple of days. So, I want to at least say something other than update my status and have people get concerned.
First let me explain what happened for those that may be a little confused. It started after I wrote an article for my online freelance job a few days ago that unintentionally offended a few adult adoptee’s. You all probably know by now that I am in very much in support of speaking about adoption in a way that unifies families rather than points out differences. It’s called “Positive Adoption Language.” Well, these particular adoptees that stumbled on my story were offended that I would suggest that the way people talk would help them deal with the immense pain and sadness they happen to feel about their adoptions. I in no way meant to offend anyone by writing the article and still believe in it’s contents as it is fully supported by research. These women (whom I now know are all friends with each other) made a list of pretty intense comments at the bottom of the article. Unfortunately, these comments are still viewable right now. I plan to exercise my right as the publisher and take them down after everyone has said what they need to say. At this point I've decided that I don't want to silence anyone's views yet because of the intensity of it all, so I will let them speak. However, they also found this blog and started posting comments on it as well. (They have been deleted due to vulgarity and because this is a personal site) One of these women then went onto her own personal blog and wrote about me there as well. (No, you don’t want the link to see it, just trust me on that one) I won’t go into what all of these comments are about, but the comments they posted on this blog were extreme enough that I had to create new security on the site so that these women can no longer access it. That is why all of you are reading this by invitation only until I figure out what else to do. I hate to keep it this way because just last week a woman wrote me to tell me that my blog helped them finally make the decision to adopt because of a video I posted a long time ago. I've never met her, she just found my site.
Despite all of this craziness, I refuse to speak ill of these women like they have of me. First of all, I have never met them, and also because it is not my job to judge their actions. I also truly believe their response is because of anger towards their pain, not me as a person.
So, am I still hurt by their words? Yes, especially the words they used on the blogs. I won’t lie to you all, it is hard to see such raw pain and anger from people regarding something I am about to jump into with my whole heart. The hurt they feel is big, it is very real and it sucks. But you know what? After shedding a few tears for them, my future child and selfishly, for me too, I just decided that I am going to find a way to grow from this hurt. I truly believe that I will understand my son more because of the pain these women have shown me.
Most of you know this already, but my childhood was not something that I look back on fondly at all. My mother has a terrible mental disease. It would get so bad when I was little that sometimes I wished I had been adopted. (I love my mother dearly, please do not let this statement alarm you) But you know what? That is just my reality and despite the memories of my mother getting laced up in a straight jacket, that is the card that was drawn for me. It hurts, the pain is real, raw and it sucks. But regardless of if I liked my childhood or not, I choose to not live in self pity about it. Her illness helped make me the woman I am today. So I truly hope that my child and I will be able to relate because of our somewhat unfortunate circumstances. I hope realizing all of this will help me teach him that we all are given a gift of life from God, and what we do with that gift is what truly matters.
Thank you to everyone who has been behind me on this. Your support continues to amaze me. I simply cannot wait to show you this incredible child who was loved so much before we all even knew him.
((HUGS))
~Amy Kathleen
P.S. As for Mark, bless his heart by just hugging me and saying, “Amy, this is one of those things that will help better prepare us for things we will deal with in the future.” I love my husband so very much. Do you know he refuses to read what they are saying? Flat out refuses. I’m very blessed to have a husband that knows where our hearts are and doesn’t need to defend it to anyone.
