I have to admit, it's getting a little sad watching him grow lately. He's pratically running now and feels so much more like a little kid everyday. He's blabbering in a language that he thinks we fully understand, eats practically everything we put in front of him and he's got the funniest belly laugh EVER. We are so very blessed.
Since I haven't blogged about anything other than Eli lately, I thought I would today. I have a little confession that I am sharing with some hesitation on here, but I'm feeling the need to just "get it off my chest". So here it goes:
I heard about something while we were going through the adoption process, something adoptive parents may go through after their adoption processes are over. It's called something like, "post-adoption blues". (No pun intended, haha.) And intially, I didn't have 'em. Honestly, you couldn't have paid me any amount of money to start another adoption back in July or August because I was adoption-exhausted. But somehow over the past 3 months or so, the thoughts are creeping up on me... again. And to be honest, it's a little frustrating. Because seriously, why can't I just be like everyone else I know and say, "let's get pregnant!". I know that right now is not the time to start another adoption either, so it's hard to have that desire yet again and not be able to act on it.
Ontop of thinking about all those orphans we saw while we were in Ethiopia, I'm missing some of those exciting moments of the process, receiving the I-171H, Referral Day, getting the call to travel, Forever Family Day. I have officially forgotten about all the frustrations, nights of worrying, tears shed... they seem like nothing anymore now that we have our lil' Eli.
Ontop of the "blues", someone said something to me recently, (please know this is someone who I love and adore) but I can't seem to get it out of my head because I wonder if other people really think the same way. We were talking about Mark and I possibly having a biological child someday and this person said, "I pray for that everyday." Really?! You pray for that everyday?! Wow. What I pray is that the Lord guides us in the right direction as we figure out what the best next step is for our family, whether that be biological children or adopted.
So what does all this mean? Other than that I am sharing to much of my soul here on my blog?! Haha, I guess it just means that I don't think adoption will ever be out of my mind or my heart and I'm trying to figure out what that means. Good thing we have plenty of time to pray and work it all out.
